The Truth and Readying for the Attack of the Drunken Hobos

I am currently writing this from my secret underground bunker because it is clear that the apocolypse is here.

The Red Sox are World Champions, Howard Stern has found a radio service that allows him to drop f-bombs, and now, current Celtic and career pain in the ass Gary Payton is giving Paul Pierce advice on being a good role model for the other players.

I'm not a huge bounceyball fan, but I do remember the glory days of the 80's for the Shamrocks. About a week ago, the selfish Celtic Captain Pierce chose to mouth off to coach Doc Rivers for not "hustling" and go himself benched. Since Paul "GarciaPierce" has chosen to become a jerk, in steps Payton to lecture to the media that Pierce must stop being selfish. Payton lecturing anyone on behavior makes as much sense as Barry Bonds doing the next "Flintstones" vitamins commercial, but it says a lot about a guy who got stabbed and almost died a few years ago and how perspective can be lost after signing a $14mm per year contract. I guess the gift of life and millions of bucks ain't what its cracked up to be for # 34.

Big game on Friday night for America's Team as they take the ice at Conte Forum against the Northeastern Huskies. Far beit from me to disparage the competition (yeah right), but Northeastern annually couldn't qualify for the Massachusetts Super 8 Tournament let alone the NCAA tourney. With BC toiling at 6-3-3 right now, you'd think NU would be just what the Doctor ordered.

But to quote ESPN's Lee Corso, "Not so fast my friend". Sure, the last time Northeastern hockey had any success (Beanpot, NCAAs), yours truly was a spry high school senior jammin' in my 1978 Ford Mustang to Billy Squier tapes, while shaking off the effects off a bad night of drinking Purple Passion behind Waverly Oaks Park, but I digress.

This year's Husky team ain't bad, not good by any stretch of the imagination, but they ain't bad. Sure, their coach (former Bruin Bruce Crowder) could get outcoached by a one-armed drunken monkey, but the Eagles are going to need to get out of their scoring funk fast or they can kiss the Hockey East regular season crown goodbye. I'm not going to call this one a gimme for America's Team, but BC losing to this team would the equivilent of getting lost in your own driveway.

One thing is for sure, anytime you are in the vicinity of Northeastern fans (read: street people), it's definitely cause for concern as the only four-letter words these people don't know are "work" and "soap". BC recently mailed a letter to hockey season tickets holders ensuring that there will be plenty of penicillin shots available on Friday to ward off any diseases that the "collar down" neanderthals from Huntington Avenue may be carrying during their 2 hour stay in Chestnut Hill. Also, BC fans should keep their hands on their wallets at all times as the "Scumbag Alert Level" will be raised to "Severe" from 7-9:30 pm on Friday with NU coming to town.

Collar Up.

-DW