Friday, February 18, 2005

Mailbag Friday, 2/18

While I wait for the limo to arrive and take me to the airport (your superiors are jetting down to the Bahamas for the weekend), I thought I'd take this opportunity to open the mailbag for this week and see what's going on in your slow-developed minds.

As always, your collar-up heroes will do our best to answer your meager questions and comments that you send to us at every Friday. If you're fortunate enough to have your comments answered, consider it an honor that the people you wish you were took the time out of our lives to try and improve your raffish existence. Let's see what is in our email today.

Q- Michael B (location unknown) - I am a Northeastern Graduate who recently purchased my first Yacht. A Catalina 470. It's a little less than 50 ft in length, a bit smaller than what BC alums like yourself are used to. My question is, do you have any recommendations on where I can find a Yacht Club that won't be filled with snobby, stupid, married into the money BU grads? Anywhere between Massachusetts and LI Sound is fine as I can take my helicopter anywhere the drive is over an hour. Thanks

A- Michael, let me get this straight. You are a Northeastern grad who purchased a Catalina 470? Look, your superiors at Pinhead Nation are many things, but one thing we are not is stupid. Let's be honest, you do not own that Yacht, you are merely a low-class fisherman hired by a collar-up to sail it for him. Being a superior being allows me to see through the lies and attempts at deception by those who aspire to be elite, but due to their slow intelligence, fall far short. If your boss has given you the task of finding a quality Yacht Club, I am happy to oblige. Although the creme bruley is a bit too sweet for me there, I think your collar-up boss will enjoy the Corinthian Yacht Club in Marblehead, MA. Here is the website if you are interested in learning more, In the future, though, please be honest with the 'Nation, remember when you lie, you are only hurting yourself.

Q- Dan M. (Boston University) - Two words: Fuck You.

A- Dan, why the vulgarity? I'm sorry if you took offense to the piece we wrote on the Beanpot recently, but there's no need to be upset at us. Sometimes the truth tends to hurt. I remember after my first riding lesson as a child, my instructor told me I'd never be a quality Equestrian. Did it get upset? Of course, but I took it in stride and made up for it in many other aspects of my life. Similarly, if someone who is clearly a better person tells you something you don't agree with, in this case the Beanpot, simply thank us and begin soul searching. That being said, here's two words for you from Pinhead Nation: You're Welcome.

Q- Steve C. (Chestnut Hill, MA) - Hi my superiors, I'm curious what you guys think about that new porno mag that BU is starting.

A- Steve, interesting you mention that, Pinhead Nation has dispatched a subservient to fetch us a copy of the new BU porno magazine and we'll have a blog reviewing it later this weekend. Considering how much our opinion is respected around the Boston University campus, I'm sure many at BU will be anxious to read how the upper crust of society feels about their new venture into pornography.

Q- Jeremy C. (Durham, NH) - Will Pinhead Nation be travelling up to UNH for the BC game on Saturday?

A- Jeremy, As it stands now, I've made sure my social planner has kept Saturday open so the 'Nation can travel up to New Hampshire or as my socialite friends call your home state, "a dentist's worst nightmare". I hope our luxury box is better stocked this time. When I called to make arrangements for our libations last year, I asked them to stock the finest whiskey they could get. Imagine my surprise when I actually witnessed my bartender "making" said whiskey in a trash barrel behind the bar. Needless to say, we'll have several bottles of Johnny Walker Blue in our limosine for the contest this time. How you folks can bear to live such a neanderthalic life is simply astounding.

Unfortunately for you, my driver is here to whisk me off to my weekend junket down in the islands, so we'll have to save more of your questions until next time. As always, Pinhead Nation appreciates your admiration and as we sit on the beach this weekend drinking Mocha Rumbies, we hope you can muster the funds to keep your families fed and your heat on until we return.

Collar Up.

- DW


At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honest to God, if I ever see you in public, I'm going to kick you right in the balls.

At 2:45 PM, Blogger stevef said...

after he kicks your balls, he will rub them to make you feel better.. in a true homosexual BU kind of way

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