Sunday, January 23, 2005

I've got 36 inches!

Back off, girls, I'm talking about snow. Regardless, as I sit here in front of the fireplace watching my endentured servants shovel out my expansive driveway, I felt it was a good opportunity for your superiors to enlighten our unwashed readers to today's goings-on.

Last night during the height of the snowstorm, a storm so powerful that the white blanket dropped down the from the sky even managed to make Boston University look clean (albeit for a short time), another team from Boston continued to make New Yorker's lives miserable. This time, it was the Boston College basketball team's chance to defeat a team from the "city that never bathes" as they invaded unsightly Queens, New York to beat St. John's.

After the bouncyball Eagles slapped the Johnnies and sent 2,000 Howard Stern-wannabes back to their hovel-like dormitories, your favorite hoops team ran their record to a perfect 16-0. The game was irrelevent as St. John's is so pathetic that Sally Struthers is currently starring in infomercials requesting financial donations to help the program survive in hoops poverty.

The bigger issue is where they played. Normally, when St. John's plays a big-game, they play in New York City's Madison Square Garden, a place New Yorkers laughingly call "the world's most famous arena". Instead of Broadway, the top-ranked Eagles (BC is currently ranked #1 in the Pinhead Nation basketball poll), the game was played at the Carnesecca Arena in Jamaica, Queens. Seriously, Queens is bad enough, but Jamaica, Queens?? Good Lord.

At first glance, most would say "big deal". Astute observers, and here at Pinhead Nation we are pretty sure you are not, would realize that denying BC a chance to play St. Johns at MSG is another shot at Boston College by the Big East commissioner Mike "Fat" Tranghese. With the Eagles joining their fellow collar-up friends in the ACC next year, the petty Big East Conference is burning the midnight oil finding new and exciting ways to stick it to the departing Eagles.

Pinhead Nation laughs at the immature acts of a defeated Big East Commissioner and to Tranghese's dismay, the Eagles managed to escape gang-ridden Jamaica, Queens without any drive-by shooting incidents and another victory on thier way to the Big East championship. Sources close to the 'Nation report that Tranghese is currently working behind the scenes to move the Big East Championship from Madison Square Garden to Carnesecca Hall when BC advances to the Big East Final. Stay tuned.

Staying with the basketball theme for a minute, don't think for a second that the people you wish you were aren't noticing that large flushing noise eminating from Storrs, Connecticut these days. With their loss last night at home against Pittsburgh (the only win the city of Pittsburgh will see this weekend), UConn's men's hoops team continues to circle the bowl, much to the dismay of their tomato-faced coach, the scumbag Jim Calhoun.

America's Team had their game vs. the knuckledraggers from Titletown, New Hampshire postponed until Monday night due to the snow. As much as the 24 year-old Canadian freshman on UNH's hockey roster enjoy playing in the snow, the thoughtful folks in Chestnut Hill chose to postpone the game anyhow. Since the arrival of double-wide trailers would wreak havoc on the snow covered streets, normally paved in gold, surrounding the BC campus, the safety issues could not be ignored. While Boston College's administration understands UNH fans' desire to spend 3 hours inside Conte Forum enjoying electricity and indoor plumbing for a change, BC simply couldn't risk the chance that one collar-up may be injured in the storm.

The game, stayed UNH's pending hockey execution until Monday night where America's Team, led by the great Matti Kaltiainen, will inflate their lead in the Hockey East standings. The top-ranked Eagles (America's Team likewise is currently ranked #1 in the Pinhead Nation poll), expect to be ranked #1 in the other insigificant polls after Colorado College fell flat this weekend out west. As usual, the cream that is the Boston College hockey program, always rises to the top.

Finally, a safety warning from your superiors at Pinhead Nation. With the snow situation demolishing most of the northeast today, we advise you to stay in your one-bedroom apartments and stay huddled around your stove for heat. Cold and snow like this can be dangerous to most of you without the means to afford heat or adequate shelter. The 'Nation cares about you as with the demise of every UNH, Maine, or BU graduate, our waiting time at the drive-thru gets longer.

Collar Up.

- DW


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