Merry Christmas Dolphins from the New England Patriots

Well, that sucked.

Ain't life a bitch sometimes. Two years ago, the Miami Dolphins had an eleven point lead with less than five minutes to play in Foxboro against the Pats in a huge game for the fish. Minutes later, the Fins choked like a fellatiating midget and the Patriots prevailed. Last night in the town that Tony Montana built, Miami returned the favor by beating the hapless Patriots and, in essence, putting a nail in New England's Super Bowl coffin.

Although there is much blame to be dealt out, 'the Nation puts this loss right in the chin dimple of Tom Brady. Brady, who is showing almost daily now why he was a sixth-round draft pick, hasn't played this badly since he was dumping snail tracks on Tara Reid's upholstery in 2002. He gets a break that year since he was clearly more focused on avoiding VD than scoring a TD.

While watching the game in my plush Pinhead Palace, I realized that last night's loss pretty much eliminated the Patriots from winning their third Super Bowl in four years. No way they beat Indy in the divisional playoffs and UConn has a better chance of winning a Bowl Championship Series than the Pats do of winning in Pittsburgh. Count on a ten point loss to the Jets next Sunday and a second seed heading into the playoffs, which will be one-and-done. The 2004 New England Patriots are dead to Pinhead Nation at this time.

Anyhow, it's clear that the 'Nation has ruffled some feathers with our scathing indictment of NASCAR. Sure, some feelings were hurt and some truths exposed, but honestly, Pinhead Nation couldn't be more proud. To those backward inbreds who pray at the altar of Mark Martin and Dale Jarrett, get over it.

Isn't it enough that these uneducated hilbillies get to choose our President every year? I mean, let's be honest, the redneck, ahem, red states voted for the current pantload in the Oval Office mainly because he's just as illiterate as most of them. Considering that Pinhead Nation's tax dollars pay for their subsidized housing, their WIC checks, and probably a portion of their "dead beat dad's" child support, NASCAR fans can hardly be upset at the 'Nation simply telling it like it is.

Collar Up.

- DW