Friday, March 04, 2005

Mailbag Friday, 3/4

Boy, where does the time go. It seems like it was just yesterday when your superiors were returning from Durham after the 5-2 woodshed job that America's Team put on the University of New Hampshire. Looking at my planner for the day, I see Friday is upon us again and that means another trip inside the 'Nation's mailbag.

Remember, if you have a question or comment for the people you wish you were, drop us a line at and if you're fortunate, we'll give you the time of day with a response. Let's see what we've got today:

Q- Scott B. (location N/A)- It appears that there is a typo in yoru post dated February 28, 2005. A portion of the sentence reads, "it's important that we, the people you wish you were, told you a quick lesson U. of Maine hockey." I think you're missing an "about" in your sentence, but I went to a state school, and they didn't teach us grammar there.

A - Scott. Great catch on your part, you are absolutely correct. I feel since you caught that error, we owe you an explanation. Last weekend, your superiors were busy preparing for our friend T. Fidler Rothschild's winter celebration and I enlisted my secretary to type last week's story for us. Unfortunately, my secretary is a Northeastern University graduate and she lost seven of her fingers while working for the sewer department during her co-op semester at NU. Clearly it is affecting her typing. It's sad, mainly, because she lost her middle fingers and can no longer display it while driving on Commonwealth Avenue as most Northeastern cretins do. Thanks for the note, though, as the 'Nation will have to speak with her once again about the quality of her work. We'd love to dismiss her, but considering she is only 21 and has four kids, the 'Nation feels she deserves one more chance.

Q - Steve C. (Worcester, MA). Guys, I'm having trouble with my girlfriend and I hope you can help me. We've been together for the last year and I think she's bored with me. I have tried wearing my collar-up, but it isn't working. Am I going to get dumped? I figure you guys are the ones to ask.

A - Steve, to answer your question? Yes, you are going to get dumped. Your superiors aren't sure of the details in your relationship, but since you are a Holy Cross student (your email address gives it away), it's clear that your problems are in the bedroom. If I am being honest here, my guess is you are either hung like a paperclip or are a "two-pump chump". Look in the mirror and do some soul searching, but I'm afraid your problems are too great, even for Pinhead Nation at this point.

Q - Justin P. (Durham, NH). I don't have a question, I only have a comment. The next time you visit another team's arena, you need to show more class than what you showed at the Whitt last Saturday. You guys pretend to be class, but you acted like an ass.

Dozens of UNH fans show their support of New Hampshire hockey

A - Justin, I understand your dismay with the score last Saturday, but it's time to move on. Remember, deep down, we all love America's Team. I will admit that your superiors emptied many a glass of Johnnie Walker Blue Label prior to gametime and we may have appeared tipsy, but, unlike many students at UNH, we never lose our class. Perhaps you should have noted our behavior and realized, hey, collar-up status is what I strive to achieve, if they are acting this way, maybe I should too. As always, if you need any advice, please don't hesitate to drop us another line.

UNH fans know how to cheer with class.

Well, that's going to do it for another week. As America's Team prepares for "Team Tooth" this weekend, the people you wish you were, I'm sure, will have something to teach you all later this weekend.

Collar Up.

- DW


At 2:08 PM, Blogger Jeekers Cripe said...

As an "impartial" observer, it seems like the 3 rules for a Pinhead Nation hockey outing are:

1) Alcohol
2) Annoy People
3) Watch the Game

Of course I mean this as a compliment not a criticism.

At 2:14 PM, Blogger Jeekers Cripe said...

I find it interesting that the groups PinheadNation bashes the most also seem to be loyal readers. They just can't help themselves. It's like a car wreck and they have to look.


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