Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Merrimack Achieves New Level of Embarrassment

There are many instances in the life of a Collar-Up that we thank the good graces for making us the superior folks we are. Through quality family upbringing, strict adherence to social structure, and most important, superb education, the people you wish you were enjoy life and take pity on those less fortunate.

That being said, we do realize we are a lucky sort and understand that most aren't as privileged as your superiors at Pinhead Nation. As we traveled home from the Collar-Up Convention held this past week in Columbus, Ohio during the NCAA Frozen Four, we reflected on our optimacy and imagined the plight of the raffish hobnails that we must tolerate in society every day.

During our conversation, it didn't take long until we began to focus our discussion on the rueful society that is Merrimack College. Students are forced to attend a school like Merrimack for many reasons that may or may not be their own fault (lack of funds to attend a legitimate college, limited brainpower due to a mother who drank large amounts of anti-freeze during pregnancy, etc). One group of Merrimack students who chose to attend the school to play in a Division 1 hockey program went out of their way to bring further embarrassment to a school that epitomizes the word "wretched" during this past week.


Trojan Condoms share a similar logo with Merrimack College's. According to a Trojan spokesman, like a Trojan, Merrimack hockey is good for one shot every three hours.

The latest installment of Merrimack idiocy surrounds their head coach Chris Serino. Serino, an expert at coaching a loser from his days as a UNH assistant, was made aware that a vote was taken by the entire MC Warrior hockey team unanimously demanding his resignation. They blame Serino for this past year's side-splitting 8-win season as well as the fact that the Warriors have never finished above 7th in Hockey East during his tenure.


Warrior coach Chris Serino, upon hearing of his player's vote, must have surmised the "vote" was a verbal one and not a petition as none of the current Merrimack players know how to write.

Since Serino is currently the interim Athletics Director at Merrimack, it seems that Hockey East's band of 25 year-old Canadian thugs will be forced to take their grievance to Merrimack President Richard Santagati. Pinhead Nation's position in this fight is clear, MC's players, who would be pumping gas at the Thunder Bay, Ontario Exxon Station if not for Serino's scholarship offer, should realize that they are fortunate to be a member of Hockey East.


Like the logos for the LA Clippers and TB Devils Rays, the Merrimack College logo is a synonym for athletic refuse.

The question that surfaces in the highly developed minds of your superiors is why the student body hasn't demanded the resignation of Serino. Since 2000, his Warriors have averaged a humilating 9.5 wins per season and, with no talent to speak of, resort to cheap play often resulting in injuries to their talented opposition. The only assumption to be made is the dunderheaded Merrimack students have simply accepted losing as a part of their collegiate experience or realize their lives have many greater problems than the plight of their hockey program.


Merrimack fans realize their hockey program is laugh-out-loud embarrassing, but accept it as just another failed aspect of their ineffectual lives.

With Serino's dismissal from Merrimack clearly forthcoming, the 'Nation will be interested to see who takes over behind the bench at the Volpe Center next fall. The ultimate irony would be if former Northeastern cast-off Bruce Crowder was hired to continue the moribund tradition of Warrior hockey. The good news for MC fans is they can't go anywhere but up, the bad news, of course, is they are still Merrimack College fans.

Collar Up.

- DW

8 Comments:

At 1:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

 
At 1:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi I'd like to thank you for such a great made site!
Just thought this is a perfect way to make my first post!

Sincerely,
Laurence Todd
if you're ever bored check out my site!
[url=http://www.partyopedia.com/articles/baseball-party-supplies.html]baseball Party Supplies[/url].

 
At 6:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is my first post I'd love to congratulate you for such a terrific quality site!
I was sure this is a perfect way to introduce myself!
We believe the only way increase wealth it is usually a smart conclusion to begin a savings or investing course of action as early in life as imaginable. But don't despair if you have not thought of saving your assets until later on in life. As a consequence of hard work, that is exploring the best investment vehicles for your cash you can slowly but surely increase your riches so that it amounts to a large amount by the period you hope to retire. Contemplate all of the accessible asset classes from stocks to real estate as investments for your money. A knowledgeable and diversified portfolio of investments in a wide range of asset classes may help your money climb through the years.

-Chandra Clavette
[url=http://urwealthy.com]currency exchange rates[/url]

 
At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. My wife and I bought our house about 6 months ago. It was a foreclosure and we were able to get a great deal on it. We also took advantage of the 8K tax credit so that definitely helped. We did an extensive remodeling job and now I want to refinance to cut the term to a 20 or 15 year loan. Does anyone know any good sites for mortgage information? Thanks!

Mike

 
At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sеveral Cаvѕ ρlayerѕ аnԁ membeгs of businеss thе ӏmagine Ѕtudios teаm.
Thеѕe aгe busіness the сοurses that
ask уou to remove it if it's less than savory. Good advertisements always work in your house? No 2: Advertising another people's offerѕ too οftеn.
Tien-Tѕin Huang - JPΜ organ I gοt yοu.


Мy web-site :: online advertising

 
At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So traffic is really the process of effecting visibility of a
website or plan to develop one in the upper right hand corner of
the results page from any Google search. A good firm will pay attention to problems that may
be beautifully displayed in flash, but the changes will have their benefits in time.



Feel free to surf to my weblog search ranking service

 
At 4:12 AM, Anonymous Poker Bonus said...

Your blog is very interesting to me.
--------------
Free Poker
Texas Holdem Poker
Probably many times you find yourself in a situation where you will be playing poker at a table part - shorthanded. This can be a casino game, which has already dropped a few players and there is no one to replace them. You can also play with your friends in a private event where you just do not have enough people.
It is still possible, in the table of your choice shorthanded. Whatever the reason, you need to be aware of the strategy of the game at this table, because it is very different from the standard game, the nine-or ten-attendance at the table.
Free No Deposit Poker for You.
Poker bez depozytu
The table part you have to play a lot more hands, playing them very aggressively. There is no place to hide and wait for a pair of aces.
Each pool is a struggle. You need to diversify your game if you want to be successful. This does not mean that you have come with each hand, but remember to lower your standards a little bit about starting hands. Tip Two: Defend His blinds. Playing "full ring" you can afford to temper its dark. In a shorthanded game, you must show that your blinds are easy prey that is not afraid to see the big raise. Heavily check that your big or small blind is not free money.
Free Poker Bonus
Online Poker Cash

 
At 4:13 AM, Anonymous Texas holdem poker said...

Many thanks for this excelent blog post.
--------------
Free Poker Dollar
Poker Bonus
Once again, in a game full table, you long to drop his hands, waiting for the few specific hands. The shorthanded tables need to catch every opportunity to look for confrontation, and be sure that your opponents are waiting for it too. Meet your enemies and be careful not to give away.
Poker is a game where a large part takes place in our heads, so be sure that the shorthanded tables tend to be more stressful for the player, and so they actually are. However, by many considered to be the quintessence of constant action and the most exciting of the possible games. If you refine the details, this may be for you the most profitable form of poker.
No Deposit Poker
Used Laptop Intel
"Heads Up" poker is when two players involved. You can play tournaments, which are composed only of the heads-up. Reading your opponent. If you have any information you may have about your opponent, you can use it while playing heads up. Maybe resigns due to conquer large, large rates with the weak handami or always putting in pots, putting to an end. Remember that your opponent is also close, so mix your game.
Big Screen TV
MTB Bike Viteo

 

Post a Comment

<< Home