Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Ya'll Go Home Now, Ya Hear?



This past Saturday at approximately 10 pm, your superiors sat proudly in our luxury box watching America's Team capture their record sixth Hockey East Championship over the Univ. of New Hampshire. As we sipped our Moet and Chandon and reflected on our own personal preponderance, the people you wish you were couldn't help thinking about the misery that UNH's supporters must have been feeling at that moment as once again, Boston College had broken their hearts.

It is often said that playing UNH in a postseason game is the equivilent of drawing a 'bye', especially for BC. Although Wildcat fans point to their regular season success over America's Team, the team wearing maroon and gold, once again, reminded UNH that when the stakes are high, as always, BC wears their collars up, while UNH wears their collars tight.


BC's six Hockey East Crowns matches the average number of children in most New Hampshire Families.

For UNH fans, the reality of another year without a legitimate banner to hang at the "Losesomemore Center" (UNH will likely hang one anyhow) has led to tremendous despondency in Durham, NH. Though officials at the University of New Hampshire are privately elated with UNH's annual Hockey East defeat (the rising cost of pepper spray has left university supplies dangerously low), they are alarmed by the number of marose students wandering aimlessly through the UNH campus.


UNH Officials report the mood on campus has not been this low since brother/sister cohabitation was banned in university dormitaries.

While most UNH fans have accepted their fate and have begun the healing process, others remain angry and feel the Wildcats were wronged several times by Hockey East referees. When BC and UNH tied at Conte Forum last month, UNH fans feel that a "goal" the Wildcats scored but were never credited for, cost The Univ. of Neverending Hillbillies the Regular Season crown. These genetically mutated anomalies seem to dismiss the fact that if UNH won just one time in their final four games (0-2-2), they would have won the regular season title.


This New Official Logo of "Friends of UNH Hockey" captures of the essence of Wildcat hockey fans

As tough as it is for UNH fans to admit, America's Team is a superior hockey program and their meliority proved itself once again in the Hockey East championship game. Though the Wildcats did their best to stave off the inevitable against America's Team, their flaws were eventually exposed as BC's dominance was too much for the mediocre UNH program to handle.


America's Team forward Brian Boyle had a day at the beach vs. UNH

For your superiors, the joy that comes with watching our team win another championship has found us once again. As in life, your elite idols at Boston College have, again, achieved victory over a subpar opponent. The good news for UNH is they will unlikely have to play Boston College again this year. The bad news is it's NCAA tourney time, and no team epitomizes failure in the NCAA's more than the University of New Hampshire. Your superiors would like to say we understood your pain, but, obviously, we don't.

Collar Up

- DW

5 Comments:

At 11:25 AM, Blogger IanAtKDR said...

Here's hoping for a BC-Cornell rematch in the Frozen Four. BC's road to Columbus shouldn't be too difficult if they take care of business, and while Cornell's will be much tougher, it's far from impossible.

If it comes to that, I just hope it doesn't go into double-OT. I don't think my nerves would be able to handle it.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Jeekers Cripe said...

Egotistical
Sarcastic
Pinhead
Nation

The real ESPN

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger Jeekers Cripe said...

Dear Pinhead Nation
Can you please tell me where the hell Mercyhurst is located?

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger Pinhead Nation said...

Jeekers

Mercyhurst is located in Erie, PA.

Ian

With that defense, Cornell has a great shot to make it to Columbus. The big ice surface at Mariucci will hurt, but Minnesota hasn't exactly been playing well lately. I agree a BC/Cornell matchup would be a very collar-up game. Good luck.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger CommAvHusky said...

When do you plan to write an article on success stories of former Eagle mascots?

 

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