Thursday, December 01, 2005

Something Old and Something B(l)U(e)

Joe Paterno gives BU fans hope.

You've heard the comparisons before. Jack Parker is a classless, drunk version of JoePa. They've both lost it. They both should have retired long ago. The game has passed them by.

But this year these statements have proven to be false. Well... half false.

It's been an amazing season for Penn State football. They are a last-second Michigan touchdown away from being undefeated and in the national title mix. The old ball coach has risen from the ashes to return the old ball club to past glory. This return to glory at Penn State is real. And even though our Eurotrash friends down at the disgusting part of Comm Ave don't have a football team of their own to root for (American football anyhow), they've been watching college football and Penn State and see a reason for optimism in their once proud hockey program.

But that's where it all ends. Quickly reality slaps them in the face like a pimp slapping his hooker on the sidewalk in front of Warren Towers. And then it sinks in for the fans that couldn't get into Boston College. BU sits at 4-5-1 overall through a fairly easy schedule (RPI, Lowell x 2, UMass Amherst), with the reaper coming.

This weekend, they will stare face to face with the team they wish they were. And aside from selling out his players in the papers to cover up his pathetic recruiting and player development, there's nothing "Jack and Choke" can do to keep the downward spiral from happening. Like a portion of feculent waste that swirls the bowl before finally disappearing into oblivion, BU's hockey demise has exhibited a slower death than a moribund alzheimer's patient who overdoses on Viagra in hopes it will rekindle "the good ole' days".

Each game, Coach Parker's positive attitude and gregarious personality has his Terriers pumped and ready to return BU to its days of glory.

Like a lunatic standing in a traffic rotary yelling at cars, Parker will kick and scream while his team fails. It will be the ref's fault. It will be the puck's fault. It will be the fans' fault for only filling up half of their new 6,000 seat arena. It'll be the band's fault. But you can be sure in his own mind, it isn't HIS fault. Nope. Never. He'll berate officials. He'll bench players. But it's all just a circus sideshow to distract the few English speaking people that are watching from the main attraction from the student section. Truth be told, over the last decade, Kenmore Community College has gone from a perennial power and the best program in the east, to a has-been and the fourth best team in Hockey East.

So we raise our flumes to you, Penn State. We pop our collars to your football season and for giving BU fans a glimmer of hope during a hopeless situation. If you can actually get your arms around one of them, give a BU fan a hug today as they certainly need it.

As outlined above, it still SUX2BU. The worst BU fans of all are the "QueerEyefortheBUguys" who sit in the front of the BU student section and jump up and down and hug their male friends when BU scores a goal. After witnessing this phenomenon, it's clear that poor BU forward Brad Zancanaro won't the only one who will "get a high stick in the crease" on game night.

Due to fear of STD's among the student population, Boston University made it mandatory for BU fans to "wear protection" before jumping and hugging eachother after the rare BU goal.

The jumping and hugging by the male BU students has become a tradition at BU. Just like the fat, slightly-retarded, hairy ape named "Sasquatch" that takes his shirt off to get BU fans' minds off the fact that they hold a degree that we use as coasters at our yacht club. If you've been watching lately, you'd know that the Sasquatch tradition is on its way out. Quite frankly, we're worried that another pathetic BU tradition is in danger of becoming extinct as well (don't fret, BU students, fifth-year sophomore Khalid Karwari's "Kashi and Keg Cavalcade" in Shelton Hall is still alive and strong), we're talking about hockey recruiting.

"The Kashi and Keg Cavalcade" at BU allows students to blow off steam and "drop some trou" after enduring another failed hockey campaign.

It's December and another BU recruiting class is well on its way on the road to underachievement. Although loaded with young offensive firepower, once again, Jacko has somehow managed to turn a talented group into a class that couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag full of bananas. With almost 10 straight underachieving and overrated recruiting classes coming into Baghdad University, the Derrieres find themselves in fine company in the scoring department once again. BU's 2.62 goals per game average is 7th in Hockey East. The only ones who score less than BU are Northeastern, Merrimack, and that Pakistani kid with psoriasis who sits in the back of BU's "English for Hindus" class while stashing skin flakes in his turban.

It seems that BU students haven't been getting hugs as a result of the low scoring offense and their inability to convince any girls under 300 lbs to go out with them. So, we at Pinhead Nation implore you all to have a heart. Give a BU student fan a hug today. They badly need it. DISCLAIMER: Pinhead Nation is not responsible for the contraction of any STDs or head lice from hugging BU fans.

Dateless and without the burden of wearing deodorant, the BU hockey fan is living proof of what can happen to a high school student if he doesn't take his S.A.T.s seriously.

While we're on BU recruiting classes, it reminds the people you wish you were how extraordinary the freshman class is over at America's Team. BC's dynamic duo of Brock Bradford and Nathan Gerbe have combined for 8 goals already this year, 3 of those being game-winners. BU's Terrible Trio (realize we're giving BU an extra player while comparing 2 vs. 3 players here) of Brandon Yip, Chris "Crosby" Higgins, and Jason "Drury who?" Lawrence have combined for 5 goals. And only 1 of those 5 goals were game-winning goals. The stud of the class, Lawrence has a whopping 1 goal to his name so far. Welcome to the Terrier hockey, Jason! Another great recruiting class for BU. Remember, you can't spell B-U-S-T without "B-U."

Look on the bright side BU fans, the 2nd Monday in February is almost here, so the season is almost over!

Collar Up.

- Mav


At 6:25 PM, Anonymous bill branch said...

Nice job.

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Good thing you guys wear your collars up. I hear it can get mighty chilly in Boise in December.

Any truth to the rumor that BC actually asked to go to Boise since they know their program has no hope of ever winning any game of any sort of significance?

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Father Monan said...

Hey Chris! How's that football program of yours doing down at KKK?

At 2:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your method of describing the whole thing in this article is genuinely good,
all be capable of easily be aware of it, Thanks a lot.

Here is my webpage - Nike Air Max Pas Cher

At 7:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I've truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I'll be subscribing to your rss feed and
I hope you write again very soon!

Feel free to visit my blog post - NFL Jerseys Wholesale

At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really loving the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems? A number of my blog visitors have complained about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any tips to help fix this problem?

my site: Louis Vuitton Outlet

At 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quality posts is the main to interest the people to pay a quick visit the web site, that's what this website is providing.

Here is my blog - Cheap Jerseys

At 6:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there, constantly i used to check blog posts here early in the morning, for the reason
that i like to find out more and more.

Here is my blog Nike Air Max

At 2:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Simply want to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity in your submit is just nice and that
i can suppose you are a professional in this subject.
Well together with your permission allow me to grab your feed to stay updated with forthcoming post.
Thanks a million and please carry on the rewarding work.

Also visit my web-site: Air Max Pas Cher

At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your style is very unique compared to other people I
have read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity,
Guess I'll just bookmark this web site.

My webpage :: Michael Kors Bags

At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Neat post. There's a problem together with your web site in internet explorer, might test this? IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a big element of other folks will leave out your wonderful writing because of this problem.

my blog - Air Jordan 2013

At 7:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoah this weblog is wonderful i love reading your posts.
Stay up the great work! You understand, a lot of individuals are looking
round for this info, you can help them greatly.

Here is my weblog; Louis Vuitton Pas Cher

At 9:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for any other fantastic post. Where else could anybody get that kind of information in such an ideal method of writing?
I have a presentation next week, and I am at the search for such info.

My weblog more

At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty! This was a really wonderful article. Many thanks for providing these details.

Take a look at my web blog: Chaussure De Foot Pas Cher

At 2:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked up
anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues using this website,
since I experienced to reload the web site lots of times previous
to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK?
Not that I'm complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and could damage your quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more of your respective interesting content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.

Here is my webpage Abercrombie France

At 5:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Magnificent goods from you, man. I have bear in mind your stuff prior to and you are simply extremely excellent.

I really like what you've acquired here, really like what you are saying and the best way through which you are saying it. You make it enjoyable and you continue to care for to stay it smart. I can not wait to learn much more from you. This is really a great web site.

Here is my homepage Mario Lemieux Black Jersey

At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there Dear, are you truly visiting this site regularly, if so afterward you will definitely take pleasant know-how.

Also visit my web blog: Sac Guess Pas Cher

At 4:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to
see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation.

My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views.

I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

my weblog :: Michael Kors Bags

At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's up, all is going sound here and ofcourse every one is sharing information, that's genuinely excellent, keep up writing.

Here is my blog post -

At 7:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this web page, and your views are pleasant in
support of new people.

Here is my weblog; Louis Vuitton Bags

At 1:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it ;
) I'm going to return once again since I saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

Look at my web blog :: Louis Vuitton Bags

At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thankfulness to my father who informed me regarding this webpage, this web site
is genuinely awesome.

Take a look at my weblog ... Read Full Article

At 12:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I go to see everyday a few web sites and information
sites to read posts, however this webpage provides feature based writing.

Feel free to surf to my web site :: Learn More

At 2:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I check your blogs daily. Your story-telling style
is awesome, keep doing what you're doing!

my web site - Jordan Femme

At 6:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pay a quick visit daily a few web sites and websites to read articles,
however this web site gives feature based articles.

Here is my homepage; Tory Burch Flats

At 5:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets
I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter
updates. I've been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

Also visit my web page; Recommended Reading

At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I delight in, result in I discovered exactly what I was taking a look for.

You've ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

My blog: Full Article

At 1:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, yeah this piece of writing is genuinely nice
and I have learned lot of things from it on the topic of blogging.

Also visit my web-site :: Click Here ()

At 4:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

continuously i used to read smaller content which
as well clear their motive, and that is also happening with this post which I am reading now.

Here is my weblog: Clicking Here

At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why users still use to read news papers when in this technological globe all is available on net?

Take a look at my webpage - Air Max Pas Cher

At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Asking questions are in fact pleasant thing if you are not
understanding anything entirely, except this post presents fastidious understanding yet.

Visit my page: More Info

At 3:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome! Its really remarkable paragraph, I have got much
clear idea regarding from this post.

Also visit my blog post ... Chaussures De Foot

At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you have a spam problem on this site; I also am a
blogger, and I was wondering your situation; we
have developed some nice procedures and we are looking
to exchange strategies with other folks, why not shoot
me an email if interested.

Feel free to surf to my website ... NFL Jerseys Cheap

At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back in the future. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great writing, have a nice evening!

My web-site :: Air Max Femme

At 1:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice blog post. I definitely appreciate this site. Keep writing!

Take a look at my web blog Air Jordan

At 6:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there, I discovered your site by the use of Google even as looking for a comparable subject, your
website got here up, it seems good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

Hi there, just became aware of your weblog thru Google, and found that it's truly informative. I'm gonna be careful for brussels.
I will be grateful if you happen to proceed this in future.
A lot of other folks will be benefited out of your writing.


Feel free to visit my webpage Mulberry UK

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's remarkable designed for me to have a website, which is beneficial for my experience. thanks admin

Look at my webpage: Sac Guess

At 4:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paragraph writing is also a fun, if you know afterward you can write or else it is difficult to write.

My homepage :: Air Max Sale

At 5:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was able to find good advice from your articles.

My web page ... Air Jordan

At 7:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What i do not understood is in reality how you are no longer
actually a lot more neatly-liked than you may be right now.

You are very intelligent. You realize therefore significantly relating to this
subject, produced me personally consider it from so many numerous angles.
Its like men and women aren't interested until it's
something to do with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs excellent.
At all times handle it up!

Also visit my web-site: Nike Blazers Women


Post a Comment

<< Home