Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Diary of a BU student

Needless to say, your superiors enjoyed a convivial time in Worcester this weekend. Like a week's worth of shots of Penicillin to kill a virus contracted at a Northeastern University career-fair, America's Team eliminated the bacteria that is Boston University.

Late Sunday night, the phone rang at Stately Pinhead Manor. It was one our drones calling to tell us that he had found something that may be of interest to the people you wish you were, a personal diary of a BU student.

After leafing through the several kashi recipes and lyrics of "White Stripes" songs, we happened upon a journal detailing the past weekend's events as the NCAAs got underway. Below is a sample of the text from this BU student who we will call "Jurgen". Your superiors will do our best to work through the foreign vernacular.

BU police noted several suicide deaths outside Warren Towers following Boston College's 5-0 victory on Saturday night.

"Friday, 24, March, 2006:

Today is the big day. Only two more wins until the Icedogs earn a trip to the Frozen Four. The bus from campus leaves at 2 for our 4pm game vs. Nebraska. I didn't know Nebraska had a hockey team, come to think of it, I didn't know Boston University had a hockey team until three weeks ago either! The students at BU are really behind this team, the last time I saw this many young people behind one cause, it was that big book burning rally back home in Dusseldorf. Got to go, my girlfriend at school is eating my Taco-Bell. I'll write soon".

Just three more wins to a NCAA title, this BU student noted after their win vs. UNO, who chose to forego the free transportation and ride to Worcester in style.

"Saturday 25, March, 2006:

It is noontime and we are in a frenzy. BU demolished the Nebraskans 9-2! I think we had two hatricks, too. I know this because on two different occasions, BU fans threw their turbans on the ice after goals, so I know it to be true. Standing in our way to Milwaukee is that little college in Chestnut Hill. Since we beat them in the Beanpot and the Hockey East playoffs, tonight's game looks like a formality. They barely beat a team from Miami last night! Do they even have ice in Florida? I'll write as soon as I get back from the post game party on Landsdowne Street."

Prior to game time, BU fans dressed in their "fan boy" attire aimed at intimidating the opponent.

"Sunday 26, March, 2006:

I don't know what to say. We lost. Even though we dominated most of the game, Boston College beat us 5-0. The only good news is our coach Jack Parker told the players to try and hurt BC players in the last few minutes to try and knock them out of their next game. I'm extremely sad right now. I know I just started following BU a few weeks ago, but the last time I was this sad was when David Hasselhoff gave me the brush off when I asked for his autograph near the Berlin Wall. I'll write more later."

Just minutes before BU's game vs. hated Boston College, a couple of BU coeds realize they forgot their box of Krispie Kremes on the bus.

"Sunday 26, March, 2006:

Anyways, the night wasn't a complete loss. Even though we lost to Boston College, a school that I hate because they rejected me, me and my friends did our best to have a good time. The bus made it back to campus around 11 or so, and a lot of us walked over to Landsdowne Street to drown our sorrows and do the only thing that makes us feel better: dancing. The DJ, knowing we had lost, made us happy by playing a lot of songs by "The Shamen" and some old school "KLF" mixes.

To ease the pain, clubs on Landsdowne Street gave BU fans free glowsticks when they showed their ticket stubs.

Collar Up.


At 2:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

good stuff

At 2:26 PM, Anonymous Puck Swami said...

Thanks for consistent excellence all year on this site. I almost wet myself from laughing so hard on several occasions, and we wish the Eagles good luck in Milwaukee.

Here in Denver, we're glad that you've chosen Aspen is the home of the Western outpost of Stately Pinhead Manor, and we also appreciate your support of your fellow private school brothers in at the University of Denver.

Good luck in the NCAAs, keep up the good work and collar up!

Puck Swami
Denver, Colorado

At 5:04 PM, Anonymous The GHost of Sandy Moger said...

Fucking brilliant. By the way, you clowns owe me a new monitor since I spit coffee on it while laughing at your blog. Thanks for the entertainment as always.


At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best blog you guys have done in a while. Thanks for the laff.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Pinhead Nation said...

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Nate91b loves two things: black sausage and milky sauce.

At 11:38 PM, Anonymous r.l. said...

will you assholes post the All Milk Carton team already?

At 1:29 PM, Blogger nate91b said...

1stLt Fiebke saw a bumper sticket today that read:

Boston College Hockey
The [Second] Best Season With No Hardware

Good job ladies.


PS your hoops team sucks too.

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