Thursday, December 30, 2004

Everything's Coming Up Maroon and Gold...

What a wonderful morning. Sure, we've endured 2 feet of snow, 36 hour power outages, and some horrible news from overseas, but today, life is good at Pinhead Nation World Headquarters.

While the 'Nation was sipping brandy by the fire last night, America's Team was busy dispatching St. Cloud State, aka UNH-West, in the Florida Classic Hockey Tournament. Although winning this tourney is about as exciting as winning a $5 door prize at my Yacht Club's Holiday extravaganza, it's always nice watch Saint Cloud come up empty in a tournament. Honestly, has there been a tournament invented that the mighty Huskies of Saint Cloud can't lose?

As tasty as my Moscato Bianco Orange Macadamia Nut Tort was at dessert, few things were sweeter than watching the neanderthals from UNH and Maine embarrass themselves in their games as well. Maine, a team that couldn't score in an Amsterdam whorehouse with a fist full of hundreds, lost to Cornell, while New Hampshire was outclassed by Michigan State out in Detroit. The good news for UNH is that they survived their trip to Detroit, the murder capital of the world. Although losing a hockey game in OT is tough, "falling in sudden death in Detroit" could have been a lot worse.

Though UNH will probably rebound just in time to get bounced from the NCAA tournament in the first round, it appears that the animal husbanders from Maine are more likely to see a dentist this year than see their Blackbears play in late March. The good news for me is since Blackbear hockey will be over early, the potato pickers in Maine can get an early jump on the spring crop so I can enjoy my Mediterranean Potato Casserole early this season.

If you happen to be in South Central Maine, that horrible stench in the air is not the paper mill in Old Town, but the hockey team in Orono. Last year, Pinhead Nation boldly predicted the demise of Maine hockey. Although most will say we were wrong, it is clear that, since your friends at Pinhead Nation are better people than you and see many things you can't, we were simply a year early. It appears that Timmy-Time has officially begun in the land of two-tone blue.

Though basketball is hardly the sport of kings, I'd be remissed this morning if I didn't mention that Boston College's beloved hoops team overcame a 14-point deficit to beat Kent State at the buzzer last night in Chestnut Hill. Reports on the AP wire today state a bald man in a headset was babbling incomprehensibly and had to be restrained by authorities following the contest. Though no one could understand his words, the words "wow!!" and "retractable roof" were repeated several times.

Finally, it's hard not to think about the victims of the Tsunami in Asia. In case there's any more evidence you need to show that this world is completely f'ed up, check out this tidbit mentioned to me by our friends over at The United States is giving $35 million in financial aid to those countries ravaged by the Tsunami. George Steinbrenner is giving $25 million in luxury tax to major league baseball. Nice to see we are giving $35 mm to feed and cloth these victims, while King George is giving $25mm to ensure the KC Royals can sign Mike Sweeney. Talk about priorities.

Collar Up.

- DW


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