Friday, December 24, 2004

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

It is that time of year to put up our annual Christmas poem as an ode to our fun friends over on USCHO. Enjoy!

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through USCHO,
Not a creature was stirring... and BU still sucks since the year Drury went pro.
The UNH banners were hung, in the Moneywhore Center with care,
In hopes that their empty trophy case wouldn't be bare.

The BUnit losers were spooning each other snug in their bed,
While visions of Chris Bourque naked ran through their head.
With Justin (from the NU doghouse fame) in his 'kerchief you'd think he would snap,
From being used to his Huskies forever playing like crap.

When out on the roof of the new Harry Agganis Arena arose such a boom,
It was Touchdown Mikey Ayers breaking his stick over the crossbar as he led UNH to further NCAA doom.
He hauled around his NCAA GAA, which is larger than life,
And toted his broken stick from the Frozen four, jagged and sharp as a knife.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of midday to the huge rats that run around BU below,
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a UNH Hillbilly (easily identifiable by his UNH jersey that he wears 365 days a year underneath his NASCAR jacket) trying to bang a reindeer.

(NOTE: to his defense, there were no sheep available in New Hampshire tonight. Also note that we have no way of knowing, but we are pretty sure this Hillbilly was indeed bobo)...

Driving the sleigh was a banned USCHO legend that we all miss,
I knew in a moment it must be eaglebunny/newton1/oldsalty/bobbybrady/CHRIS!!!!!!!.
More rapid than UNH chokes, his subservients they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now rufus! Now bobo!
Now, morgan and acs64!
On, Chuck Murray! And Da Bid Bad Cow!
On, Todd and Alex!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Pinhead Nation is better than you all!"

We can still hear all the UNH fans cry,
From when their team choked and fell on their face harder than a brick falling from the sky.
So up to the house-top the courses they flew,
With the sleigh full of BC line combinations for 2008, UNH/BU/Maine busts, and darin too.

And then a tinkling was heard above the shutters,
One of the Hillbillies was urinating in the gutters.
(this all works out though, since BU smells like a giant puddle of urine anyway).
One of the BUnitwits heard something and turned around,
He saw a post-season goalie better than any UNH goalie ever... a simple dirt mound
(you'd be surprised at how a mound of dirt can really improve a disgusting campus like BU's)

Chris!!!! was dressed in 2001 National Championship apparel from his head to his toe,
and his clothes weren't tarnished like the titles in Orono.
A bundle of busts he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

He was nervous and uptight, like he is during every BC game,
But not really angry, like when BC lost to Notre Dame.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon showed everyone they had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh and, to his team of idiots, gave a whistle (not an annoying one like Dick Umile),
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But they heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Collar Up

- Mav


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