Thursday, April 21, 2005

Mailbag Friday, 4/22

It's hard to believe it, but we've reached the end of another week and a new installment of Mailbag Friday. Your superiors hope your work week was free of fryolater burns and hope you can enjoy your meager weekend, likely one chock full of hunting for empty cans and avoiding creditor calls.

The people you wish you were apologize for not having a mailbag Friday last week, but due to several "collar-up" social functions, we were unable to answer your menial inquiries. Remember, each week, Pinhead Nation will do our best to answer your feeble-minded questions or read your opaque comments sent to our email at Let's open this week's mailbag and see what's on your imbecilic minds.

Q - Matt (East Lansing, MI). Being the catholic educated intellectuals you people are, what is your opinion of the new Pope Benedict XVI?

A - Matt, Thanks for your response. First, it must be hard going to a school that is so academically and athletically inferior to your rivals in Ann Arbor, but I digress. Now, the 'Nation welcomes the new Pope to the Vatican and wish him well. While I was happy to see the new Pope, upon seeing him I was stunned to realize the true power of "Lucas Films". With the new Star Wars movie coming out (sure to delight dorks throughout the world), I couldn't help wondering how much it cost George Lucas to convince the Vatican to elect Emperor Palpatine as its new Pope. Clearly, this is a stroke of marketing genius that even Pinhead Nation respects.

Pope Benedict XVI has promised to maintain the Vatican's strict conservative values, as well as rid the world of all Jedi Knights.

Q - Cindy (Boston, MA) - Hey guys, hope you enjoyed Frozen Four. Did you happen to see that story about the Virgin Mary apparation in Chicago? Isn't that spooky?

A - Hi Cindy, we did see the story on the news about the "Virgin Mary" sighting under that highway overpass in Chicago. Pinhead Nation doesn't have an official opinion of what that image actually is. Considering how slow-witted most of society is these days, though, it's no surprise to us that people are stopping traffic to see a waterstain under an overpass in one of the ugliest cities in America.

The mysterious Virgin Mary apparition in Chicago, like the enigmatic Johnny Damon apparition in New York, is causing worldwide attention.

Q - Paul (Ponca City, OK) - I know Pinhead Nation "sees" more than the rest of us, but don't you find it odd that just hours after you wrote that blog trashing Cubs SS Nomar Garciaparra, he suffers a potential season ending injury?

A - Paul, I'm not sure what you are insinuating, but considering Garcia-pop-up is made of glass nowadays, it didn't take an intellect as superior as Pinhead Nation to see he was likely to suffer another injury. Luckily, Nomar has an able bodied husband at home who can help ice him down in between soccer games. Your superiors wish Nomar well and hope it doesn't hurt him too much when he has to insert his tampon.

Damn these nasty yeast infections!

Well, that's going to do it for another installment of Pinhead Nation's mailbag Friday. Remember, if you have a question or comment that you would like a person clearly better than you to answer, drop us a line. If you're lucky, we may just answer your question and make your day.

Collar Up.

- DW


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